Posts Tagged With: religion

Our Inner Selves Never Grow Old

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on June 9, 2018 at 6:00pm Mass and June 10, 2018 at the 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

Image may contain: indoorI was driving my car to the store recently and there was a good song on the radio, I don’t really remember what song it was, but I know it was the 80’s channel, the music of my youth.  As I often do when listening to a good song, I had the radio turned up all the way to 11.  Also, because it was a nice day I had the windows down and the roof open.  When I got to the store, I pulled into an open parking space and decided to finish listening to the song.  When the song was over I got out of my car and to my horror I realized with some embarrassment that a young woman had been in the car next to me with her windows down and could not help but hear my loud music.  I may have even been singing along.  Embarrassed, I apologized about all the noise.  “No problem, sir,” she replied.  “I love Oldies music too.”

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How Is It Possible to Love One Another?

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on May 5, 2018 at 6:00pm Mass and March 6, 2018 at the 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

My vanity plate

I wasn’t here last week.  Did I miss anything?  Were there any important announcements or anything?  Just kidding, I realize we had the important On Mission for the Church Alive announcements.  I would have been here for this important day, but I had plans for a long time to race my car last week.  Unfortunately, they only hold race events on weekends, but I thought I was doing it with God’s blessing.  I have a cross on the car, a cross on my helmet, Speed Deacon in large letters across my visor, Team Jesus printed on my shirt, and I have a bible verse as my vanity plate.  Surely God wanted me to do well.  But I finished next to last.  Out of almost 200 cars participating, I only beat one of them.  The car was another Ford Focus like mine, but it was black instead of yellow and it’s number was 666! God wanted me to realize my calling is the Church and not racing and he made it clear, although he didn’t want me to lose to the a friend of Satan!

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Lent: The Journey From Death to Life

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on March 28, 2018 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

Image result for year of living biblically

A family had two little boys that were always stealing things.  They stole from their classmates at school, took things from the neighbors’ yards, and shoplifted things when they were at the mall with their mom.  The parents tried everything they could to change their boys’ bad behavior, but nothing worked.  As a last resort they decided to ask their pastor what to do.  (*only in a joke is a priest considered a last resort.*)   The pastor agreed to talk to each boy individually about stealing.

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The Words of God Guide Us Through Lent

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on March 3, 2018 at 4:00pm Mass and March 4, 2018 at 10:30am Mass

Image result for ten commandments

Ben and Hannah were not the most devout or religious Jews, and like the many Catholics that only attend Mass on Christmas or Easter, they only went to the Temple once or twice a year.  As they were leaving the Temple, the Rabbi said, “Ben, it would be nice to see you and your wife Hannah here at the Temple more often!”

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What Christmas Is All About

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on December 24, 2017 at 8:00pm Mass

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown!  I say that for two reasons, one because it is true and second because ever since I was a small child I remember standing on the pew after that gospel was proclaimed and there was that dramatic pause at the end before the priest or deacon says, “The gospel of the Lord,” I would say loud and clear for all to hear, “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown!”   It always got laughs, but you can imagine my wife’s horror when we attended our first Christmas together and I had still continued that tradition well into my 20’s.  If you have ever seen the commercial where the husband is wearing a light up Raiders sweater to his wife’s family Christmas dinner, and everyone is wearing Kansas City Chiefs jerseys, the reaction of the wife in the commercial was about Karen at our first Midnight Mass together, along with a sharp elbow to the ribs!

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The Ultimate Status Symbol

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on November 4, 2017 at 4:00pm and November 5, 2017 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

I bought a new watch this week, not because I needed a new watch, but because I needed a new watchband, and for whatever reason a watchband costs as much as a new watch, so I got the whole watch.  It even came with a 10-year battery.  All for the unbelievably low price of $17.  I even saved 5% because I used a Target Red Card.  It was a great deal.

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Exercise Your Way to Heaven

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on October 14, 2017 at 6:00pm and October 15, 2017 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

A married couple were in their 90’s and had been married for 70 years, but they still had excellent health, because the wife always insisted that they both eat right and exercise.  Unfortunately, as they drove to the beach on vacation, they were in a terrible auto accident and they both died.

When they arrived in heaven they were greeted by St. Peter who said, “Welcome to heaven!  Right this way!  The feast is about to begin!”

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