Posts Tagged With: religion

Lent: The Journey From Death to Life

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on March 28, 2018 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

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A family had two little boys that were always stealing things.  They stole from their classmates at school, took things from the neighbors’ yards, and shoplifted things when they were at the mall with their mom.  The parents tried everything they could to change their boys’ bad behavior, but nothing worked.  As a last resort they decided to ask their pastor what to do.  (*only in a joke is a priest considered a last resort.*)   The pastor agreed to talk to each boy individually about stealing.

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The Words of God Guide Us Through Lent

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on March 3, 2018 at 4:00pm Mass and March 4, 2018 at 10:30am Mass

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Ben and Hannah were not the most devout or religious Jews, and like the many Catholics that only attend Mass on Christmas or Easter, they only went to the Temple once or twice a year.  As they were leaving the Temple, the Rabbi said, “Ben, it would be nice to see you and your wife Hannah here at the Temple more often!”

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What Christmas Is All About

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on December 24, 2017 at 8:00pm Mass

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown!  I say that for two reasons, one because it is true and second because ever since I was a small child I remember standing on the pew after that gospel was proclaimed and there was that dramatic pause at the end before the priest or deacon says, “The gospel of the Lord,” I would say loud and clear for all to hear, “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown!”   It always got laughs, but you can imagine my wife’s horror when we attended our first Christmas together and I had still continued that tradition well into my 20’s.  If you have ever seen the commercial where the husband is wearing a light up Raiders sweater to his wife’s family Christmas dinner, and everyone is wearing Kansas City Chiefs jerseys, the reaction of the wife in the commercial was about Karen at our first Midnight Mass together, along with a sharp elbow to the ribs!

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The Ultimate Status Symbol

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on November 4, 2017 at 4:00pm and November 5, 2017 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

I bought a new watch this week, not because I needed a new watch, but because I needed a new watchband, and for whatever reason a watchband costs as much as a new watch, so I got the whole watch.  It even came with a 10-year battery.  All for the unbelievably low price of $17.  I even saved 5% because I used a Target Red Card.  It was a great deal.

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Exercise Your Way to Heaven

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on October 14, 2017 at 6:00pm and October 15, 2017 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

A married couple were in their 90’s and had been married for 70 years, but they still had excellent health, because the wife always insisted that they both eat right and exercise.  Unfortunately, as they drove to the beach on vacation, they were in a terrible auto accident and they both died.

When they arrived in heaven they were greeted by St. Peter who said, “Welcome to heaven!  Right this way!  The feast is about to begin!”

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