Posts Tagged With: religion

The Ultimate Status Symbol

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on November 4, 2017 at 4:00pm and November 5, 2017 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

I bought a new watch this week, not because I needed a new watch, but because I needed a new watchband, and for whatever reason a watchband costs as much as a new watch, so I got the whole watch.  It even came with a 10-year battery.  All for the unbelievably low price of $17.  I even saved 5% because I used a Target Red Card.  It was a great deal.

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Exercise Your Way to Heaven

HOMILY

Preached at Holy Sepulcher Parish on October 14, 2017 at 6:00pm and October 15, 2017 at 8:00am and 10:30am Masses

A married couple were in their 90’s and had been married for 70 years, but they still had excellent health, because the wife always insisted that they both eat right and exercise.  Unfortunately, as they drove to the beach on vacation, they were in a terrible auto accident and they both died.

When they arrived in heaven they were greeted by St. Peter who said, “Welcome to heaven!  Right this way!  The feast is about to begin!”

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